Here are the original pages 8 and 9. These pages were scrapped and expanded into what are now pages 8 through 11. The problem I have with these is that the movement of the scrit to the left doesn’t read properly. I wanted to have the movement to seem tentative and hesitant by having him travel against the eye’s natural reading flow but ultimately it’s too awkward. I also felt it important to heighten the suspense by showing a view inside the cave before the action resumes on page 12.
One thing I tried that may or may not work is the use of sound effects to create a rhythm. The reader was to be lulled into the pattern of “skliks”, “pit pats”, and “swiffs” so that they would expect that to continue into page 10. The idea was that the breaking of that rhythm would make the next sequence of events that much more jarring. It’s like the rhyming patterns of poetry. Poems flow along wth the rhyming scheme, but when broken, those lines are disruptive giving emphasis to their content.
So before I give away any clues or spoilers, here are the pages.